You find yourself in a situation where men often seem interested in you at first but then suddenly pulled away, your dates don't lead to deeper connections. As a relationship and dating coach who's worked with over 19,000 women through my online relationship coaching programs, I can tell you the answer isn't what you think.
The real problem is that you're showing up in masculine energy, which turns masculine men off and kills attraction. Understanding feminine vs masculine energy in relationships is absolutely crucial for maintaining attraction and polarity with men. When successful women learn how to activate their feminine energy, they find themselves in passion-filled relationships where men pursue, provide, and prioritize their woman's happiness.
In this article, I'm sharing the six specific ways you're accidentally operating in masculine energy and how to shift into your feminine to create irresistible attraction.
Understanding Masculine vs Feminine Energy in Relationships
Before we get into the six behaviors that turn men off, let me explain what feminine energy actually means. Many of my high-achieving women clients initially resist this concept, worrying it means becoming weak or less successful.
Here's the truth: Embracing your feminine energy has nothing to do with becoming dependent or dimming your brilliance. It's about creating balance and allowing your natural receptive, flowing, being energy to complement your masculine doing energy.
The Law of Polarity: Why Opposite Energies Attract
Healthy relationships thrive on polarity. This means opposite energies attract. When both partners operate primarily in masculine energy, the romantic and sexual tension dissolves.
Masculine energy is all about doing, leading, solving, achieving and giving while Feminine energy is about being, receiving, flowing, feeling and allowing.
This is exactly what happens to many high-achieving women: we become so good at managing, organizing, and controlling that we forget how to simply be and receive. We operate in masculine energy at work AND in our dating life which pushes empowered masculine men away.
Based on the law of polarity: If you show up in your masculine in dating, you're going to push masculine men away. But if you show up in your feminine, you're going to attract the opposite energy masculine, action-taking, empowered men will find you more attractive, more sexy, more appealing.
Related: When a Man Pulls Away: What High-Value Women Do
The 6 Masculine Energy Behaviors That Turn Men Off
Becoming the Chaser and Pursuer in Dating
This is the most obvious way you're turning men off.
When you like a man, it's so easy to become the woman who texts first, calls him, asks a man when you are meeting up again.
Many of my clients inside my dating course for women share that they never thought they were chasing, they actually thought they were just showing interest. But sometimes when you show interest by initiating action (which is masculine energy), you turn away empowered masculine men.
This is because masculine men want to be the ones deciding to pursue you and pursue the connection with you not the other way around.
Signs You're Chasing Men:
- You text him first regularly
- You initiate plans or suggest activities
- You ask when you're seeing each other again
- You keep conversations going with lots of questions
Here's how to stop chasing men: Let him lead the pursuit. Your role is to respond warmly when he reaches out, not to initiate the chase yourself.
Related: Why A Guy Gives Mixed Signals
Being Unable to Receive From Men
Feminine energy is all about being able to receive the good stuff from men, whether it be gifts, compliments, his attention, or his effort.
If you're uncomfortable being in your feminine and receiving energy, here's what happens when men give you compliments: you deflect them. You think it's vulnerable and innocent, but it actually turns a man off because it makes him feel like you can't really receive the goodness he's offering you.
If you've been dating in your masculine energy, you've probably attracted more men in their feminine, the taking men. But if you want to attract a man who gives to you, who is present for you, who makes effort for you, then you want to be more in your feminine energy.
Being in your feminine is about being able to receive the good stuff men are offering.
Download my Feminine Energy Checklist, it will make it easy to always remember what's important and embody your feminine energy with ease.
As a high value woman, you should be able to use your empowered masculine energy in your career and work life, but when it comes to your love life, dating, and being in a partnership with your man, you want to use feminine energy and learn the art of receiving.
My relationship coaching for women programs are so powerful when it comes to issues like these. They give you all the scripts, all the strategies, methodologies, and mindsets that you need to adopt and display if you desire to attract a healthy masculine man and keep him in your life. You can find hundreds of success stories from my clients:
Inside my coaching program Elevate, we teach you how to handle various situations like this. You are not alone in going through this and ensure you get the best possible guidance. When we work with clients, we ensure the woman communicates in a high-value way.
Why Masculine Men Crave Your Appreciation
The masculine is really craving for the feminine to appreciate, for the feminine to show emotion that the masculine is doing a good job.
Trust me, no empowered masculine man will just blindly keep pursuing a woman where he feels like he has no chance of winning with her. Appreciating and complimenting men especially for the effort that they're making for you is one of the best ways to make a man feel like he can win with you and that he has a chance to succeed with you.
Related: How To Make A Man Worry About Losing You
Fixing a Man's Problems and Offering Unsolicited Advice
This behavior turns men off when you're in your masculine energy, and it happens because you have a great heart and genuinely want to help.
Most women solve others challenges all day, so when they go on dates and a man opens up to them or shares something vulnerable, the autopilot response is to just fix their problems, offer solutions, and then you would never hear from the guy again.
This is because you were making the man feel like he wasn't capable of solving that problem himself. All the masculine empowered man wanted to hear was some form of affirmation that she trusts him to figure this out.
Men and women are very different in terms of how we receive support. In my relationship coaching for singles, I teach women to ask for help and support. But with a masculine empowered man, when you offer that support, especially when it's unsolicited, especially when he has not asked you for advice, it lands on him as if you're fixing him and as if you don't trust him to solve his problems.
This is one of the biggest turnoffs for empowered masculine men.
Related: Awaken Your Feminine Power
Mothering a Man
Many of us have mothered men at some point or the other. Sometimes I still have that tendency. I'm a mom to two small kids, and I'll check on them about vitamins. Then I want to turn that focus on my husband.
But he doesn't want me to play that role. He wants to feel like I'm his woman, his wife, that sexy irresistible woman he wants to make love to. He doesn't want to be reminded of his mother.
If you're doing this, watch out because this is really one of the biggest turnoffs in dating for empowered masculine men.
Why Mothering Men in Relationships Kills Attraction
It's counterintuitive because that's how our moms loved our fathers, and that's what so many of us grow up believing. You can wear the most sexy dress and look like a million bucks, but men are always responding to your energy. Looks are awesome, but it's your energy that holds a man and keeps his interest alive.
By mothering men, we are literally killing that interest. We're nipping it in the bud. This is when he will fizzle out. This is when he will ghost.
So stop emasculating men. Trust him to handle his own adult life. He's capable.
Related: The 5 Feminine Energy Secrets That Keep Him Coming Back
Struggling With Being Vulnerable Around Men
So many women keep dating, endless conversations on dating apps, many first, second, third dates and then nothing works out.
The reason being, there is no emotional connection happening. An emotional connection with a man can only happen when a woman is able to be vulnerable around him.
I know vulnerability was a huge challenge for me, and for many of the smart successful women I work with. Smart successful women really struggle with vulnerability, which is why I pay so much attention to this inside my online relationship coaching programs.
The Two Vulnerability Mistakes Women Make
Mistake #1: Never being vulnerable at all because it feels unsafe to be vulnerable around men.
Mistake #2: Overdoing vulnerability, sharing trauma on date one or two, or speaking about why relationships collapsed too early.
Be vulnerable with a man in a high value way. Bring your emotions to a man in a way he can actually hear and feel inspired to engage further with you. You don't need to share every emotional fluctuation. There has to be a fine balance between sharing your happy feelings, your positive feelings, and your negative feelings.
You can Download my Feminine Energy Checklist, it will make it easy to always remember what's important and embody your feminine energy with ease.
Criticizing Your Appearance or Yourself in Front of a Man
This is an absolute turn-off, and I'm surprised by how many women accidentally do it.
We think it's being real. We think it's being humble. But telling a man that you hate the way your leg looks, you hate your thin hair, you don't like your teeth, or you don't like your skin, it's such a huge turn-off.
At the end of the day, every man you're interacting with wants the best woman for himself. He wants the best mate, the best mother for his children. If you yourself throw the impression that you are not into you, if you don't like yourself enough, it's too ambitious to expect a stranger to do that for you.
This is very masculine, having that nasty voice in your head and saying it out loud. But it's also just so unattractive, a major turn-off for empowered masculine men.
Learn the high value woman habits to help you strengthen your relationship with yourself and strengthen the love with yourself in step two of my method. This deeply connects with not showing up in this self-critical way.
Related: 7 Feminine Energy Shifts to Make Him Chase You and Commit
Becoming a Feminine Queen TODAY
If you're ready to dive deeper into these concepts and completely transform how you show up in love, I'd love to support you. Through my best relationship and dating coaching methodology, I've helped countless women create the passionate, devoted partnerships they've always dreamed of.
The journey begins with my comprehensive Feminine Energy Checklist, a practical guide that will help you embody these principles daily and watch your relationship transform before your eyes. This feminine energy checklist contains 35 powerful reminders and practices that will help you show up as your most magnetic, irresistible self.
If you're looking for the best relationship coach for women or wondering which coach has the most results for attracting a loving relationship, I invite you to check out the thousands of success stories, marriages, and proposals emerging from my programs.
My strategies are practical and straightforward to implement versus having to meditate for 40 minutes or listen to long theoretical outdated lectures on feminine energy.
Download your Feminine Energy Checklist today and start experiencing the joy of being truly cherished and desired by your man.
These six ways you're showing up in masculine energy, chasing, not receiving, fixing, mothering, avoiding vulnerability, and self-criticism are turning good men off. You can change these patterns starting today.
When you master feminine vs masculine energy dynamics and learn how to activate your feminine energy, you create irresistible attraction. You stop chasing and start receiving. You stop overgiving in relationships and start being cherished.
Because darling, you weren't meant to beg for love. You were meant to receive it, abundantly and beautifully.
Want more personalized support?
If this is calling you, make sure to book a call with us and inquire about the Elevate program. As a relationship and dating coach specializing in online relationship coaching and women's relationship coaching, I've helped thousands of high-achieving women find and keep extraordinary relationships.
Click here to book a free call with one of my trained relationship and dating coaches for women and join wait-list for Elevate.
Here's to feeling powerful and strong in your love life.
About the Author:
Sami Wunder is a leading dating and relationship coach specializing in women's relationship coaching and helping high-achieving women create lasting love. Through her online relationship coaching programs and relationship coaching for singles, she has guided over 19,000 women to find and keep extraordinary relationships with emotionally available, masculine men.