When you want marriage and you’re focused on this goal, it’s important to date efficiently. Here’s a question I often receive from my clients who actively dating the Wunder diva way:
“Sami, should you let a man know when you want marriage and to have a family? Should you raise this issue early on in the dating process? I am just scared it feels too forward and will scare the men away!”
What a great question, and I am sure many of you have wondered about this before.
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At one level, when you want marriage, it feels like the right thing to do. What’s the point hiding from a man we’re dating, that marriage is our ultimate desire?
And yet, at another level it may feel like “too much information” to share on your part if you hardly know the man, especially in early dating.
I get your dilemma!
Here’s my truthful answer for when you want marriage:
Not only should you let a man know what you’re truly looking for in the dating process when you want marriage – you absolutely OWE it to yourself to do so!
To help you get this once and for all, look at it this way.
Would you go to a supermarket and spend a lot of time shopping in the vegetable department, even though fruits is what you wanted for yourself?
No, that would be un-smart and an extremely inefficient use of your time, which by the way, is your most precious commodity as a successful and busy woman (my core clientele) in today’s world.
Dating is no different!
When you want marriage and to have a family, why on earth would you waste your precious time, dating someone who is simply not on the same page as you?
For example, men who don’t believe in the institution of marriage. Or men who never want to settle down or never ever want to have children….
While they have the full right to not want what they don’t want, they’re NOT the men I want you to date when YOU want marriage!
This is why I teach in so much detail about figuring out your deal breakers,
non-negotiables and minimum standards in my most advanced inner work program for singles, Leap Into Love.
So that, when you do put yourself out there in the world of dating, you are only dealing with men with whom there is a real chance of things developing! And yes, you get to be PICKY!
By the way, we’re re-opening Leap Into Love at end of this month for fresh intake with tonnes of mega bonuses and new additions, so you want to watch this space! So excited!
Now back to the topic: to ensure that you don’t get this wrong, remember, we’re not saying that you tell a man, “I want to marry you.”
That would freak any man out during early dating.
What we’re saying is that, when you want marriage, you freely and openly share your desires and what you stand for, and do it with class and confidence and without self-doubt!
A simple sample script for when you want marriage:
If words don’t come easy, you can prepare in advance with a simple sentence to the tune of:
“Yes, it is my desire to settle down with my forever man and have a family in the next 1-2 years”.
Now, will this scare some men away?
Yes of course, but only the wrong ones!
If I were a man looking for a quick fling, an affair or quick one night stand, or to just dangle a trophy queen on my arm and never commit to her, I’d disappear on you really fast! Because I don’t want to make an effort to grow into anything serious with you.
But if I were a man looking for the same things, looking to find a partner I can commit to and create a family with, then I’d be in it with you, provided of course, I felt that core level of connection and attraction.
Again, to give you a metaphorical example from running a company.
There is a big debate in the world of coaches around: should one put up their prices on the sales page or not, especially for high-end, intensive programs?
Would it not scare many prospective clients away if one did reveal prices?
Yes, it certainly would deter many, but only the ones that are not truly meant for you.
This is why with my programs (even high-end ones like Leap Into Love and the Inner Circle), we reveal the investment straight away. We’re not kidding when we mean business in helping our clients get results in their love lives, and we attract women who mean business too.
There’s something so sexy about not hiding, being transparent, being upfront and owning what you stand for!
Just like in business, it is the same for you when you want marriage and are dating to achieve this.
Bottomline, I highly encourage you as my clients and readers to put out what you’re looking for by date 1 or 2, and feel free to ask a man that question too!
You deserve to know what he’s looking for.
This isn’t being “too forward”, though it does smell of confidence, and such conviction towards your desires is very sexy for men to watch and feel!
Yes, this is a very right consideration and I thank you for this. A serious woman should let know her partner of her marriage plan in order to be planning together after a little time. This timing is not the same for every couple but it’s for sure that self-confidence plus couple-preparation is needed. Thanks for the useful advice, have a nice Sunday.