Hi there Senoritas!
After my last post to you on why positive is forever attractive to men AND good for you, I’ve seen a big jump in happy hormones among my readership and clients. Everyone seems to make a conscious effort to be in a positive mode of mind and so many of you wrote to me personally that you didn´t want to be the grumpy, complainy ones for those around you. Well done I say and keep going!!!
Now, today I want to talk to you about something that is very important in relationships and critical when it comes to understanding men –
How men want us to need them but not be needy!
What is the difference you ask? It is a big one.
# Let´s look at what needing him looks like.
- It looks like letting him cook for you or bring you a cup of tea or coffee.
- It looks like allowing him to fix the machines, fused bulbs or anything that requires drilling / screwing or male energy in the household.
- It looks like saying yes to him when he offers to give you a ride to the doctor or pick you up for a date instead of saying, “No. Thank you. I can reach there myself.”
- In marriage, it looks like seeking his counsel / his advice on any major decisions that you are about to make.
- In parenting, it looks like letting him be a father and trusting him to handle that role well without constantly correcting and checking him.
Needing a man in a relationship looks like making space for him to step in, do for you, your relationship and your children and allowing yourself to receive from him with joy without feeling weird or uncomfortable about it.
The truth is that masculine men love to be needed.
My husband is his happiest, most free, in-his-elements self when he can climb up dusty ladders and fix stuff in the house. All this, even though he has a classic desk job in an international organization. Being needed is an energy men love to experience in their relationship because they feel like they can do something for us and it lights up their masculine heart.
Now in contrast to this “needing a man,” which is a great skill in relationships, let’s see what “being needy” looks like :
- You are dependent on him for your sheer survival.
- You are holding onto his sleeve to solve every little detail in your life and can´t make little decisions without him.
- You don’t have a life of your own and all your happiness comes from his presence.
- You call, text and chase him for his attention. In other words, your life’s energy is FOCUSED on what he does do or doesn’t do for you, what he does say and doesn’t say to you.
- You hang on to him (a man) to magically bring joy and satisfaction into your life, even though you know you are responsible for it yourself.
This neediness, this feeling of latching onto a man and letting him drag you emotionally is what men run miles away from. It literally makes him go “ewww,” kills attraction and makes him want to “duck out” on you.
While needing a man comes from a place of feminine self-assuredness and the art of joyful receiving, being needy comes from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem.
So next time, whether on a date or in your relationship, be mindful of your energy and whether you are in needing him mode or needy mode.
My clue for you to figure out this for yourself is this –
- When you are in needing him mode, you will feel relaxed in your body, you will be leaned back and smiling and receiving.
- When you are in needy mode, you will feel anxiety, confusion and tension locked up in your chest.
Just track your body this way and switch the energy with your new found awareness.
For lots of such powerful information and magical love tools that have changed the love lives of several women, check out my advanced program, Attract Your Soulmate. You don’t need to have an urgent situation to learn love skills. You can learn them once and for all for the rest of your life so that you are in ready position for any quality man that comes your way as you go along.
And if you’re new to my work, you can start with my E-book “Your Feminine Roadmap To His Commitment” where I explain, in very applied, practical ways how feminine energy plays out in dating and relationships and how it can lead you to having commitment from your man, faster than you ever thought.
I hope this information helps. I value EACH and every single one of you who reads this. If these posts have been helping you, supporting you, guiding you, you´re always welcome to comment below and let me know. It makes me happy! 🙂
If you have a friend who could use this too, gather some positive karma by forwarding this to her.
Until then, let’s give up neediness and let´s just need him the feminine way.
Sami Wunder
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