Today, as a gift to all of you my loyal blog readers, I am going to reveal one powerful tip to help you connect easier and more profoundly with men – if he is your husband of many years OR an RD you just met. In short? Your man does not fixing, and I am going to explain exactly why.
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This information comes straight from the Building Emotional Attraction advanced video program.
In Day 1 of this course, I share a new concept of Enchantress Commandments – i.e., what to NOT do, when you want to be the alluring Enchantress that connects deeply with men on an emotional level. There are 5 such Commandments for the dating phase, and 8 for committed partnerships.
Each of these behaviors is a block to Emotional Attraction in men, and it is very important to be aware of them and avoid them if we want to create and maintain the Emotional Attraction with a high-caliber man.
What is even more confusing is that some of these things may be a positive experience for YOU as a woman, but will create a negative emotional impact inside of him. Why?
Because men & women experience the building of Emotional Attraction VERY DIFFERENTLY!
So the things we do to connect with a girlfriend, are often what we innocently and with the best intentions in the world also bring in our interactions with men, and then it doesn’t work.
Remember, a man is not a woman’s soul in a hairy body. He’s a man, with a completely different genetic and neurological makeup than yours as a woman.
Ready? The Enchantress Commandment that I want to share with you (valid for all relationship stages) is…
Thou Shall Not Fix Or Help A Man! Your Man Does Not Need Fixing!
Even though it comes from a good place inside your heart, offering solutions or help to a man with his issues or challenges is the fastest way to turn him off and disconnect himself from you.
I still remember how, back in University, my crush once shared that the restaurant he owned was struggling.
What did I do? I gathered all my friends and asked them for feedback about his restaurant, then put together all the information and presented it to him! I basically conducted a free, unasked-for market research report for him.
I expected my crush to be happy and grateful and start implementing the suggestions right away!
What did he do instead?
He never answered my email in which I was presenting the results of all my hard work – and I never heard from him again!
And I am not a solitary case. Again and again, I see amazing, good-hearted women do the same mistake of trying to help a man while it backfires horribly.
—> When Sabina’s RD lost his job, she made introductions for him with all her business connections. The man had not asked for this and was furious with her and stopped asking her out.
—> Grace started lending money to her boyfriend, and not only did it not bring them closer, but in a few months, as soon as he managed to pay her back, the man broke things off with her.
—> Torita’s date shared with her that he had a hard day at work and an argument with his colleague. She sat there and coached him on more impactful communication techniques, and never heard from the guy again.
—> Shelly was worried that her husband was starting to gain weight, so, being a nutritionist herself, she created a customized diet and exercise plan for him. Her husband followed it, but Shelly could feel how he was getting more and more distant from her and retiring to his man-cave more than ever.
What is happening here?
Helping men / fixing men / offering men solutions, even with the best of intentions, is the fastest way to turn him off and disconnect himself from you.
This may seem mind-boggling at first, because we women LOVE giving and sharing advice about everything, and we thrive on helping each other. To us, it feels good and supportive and connecting.
To understand why this is not the same when it comes to creating Emotional Attraction with a man, we have to look at how the man feels in a situation like this – when he is being helped or fixed by his romantic partner, or even worse, by a date he barely knows.
The man feels emasculated.
Like you don’t trust him to solve his own problems.
Not only is it the case that your man does not need fixing. Being “fixed” not only does not making him more attracted to you, it actually makes him want to run from you in shame, or even get angry and resentful at you.
In the dating phase, most men will simply disengage and stop seeing you after such an experience (like my Uni crush, or Torita’s date). In a marriage or relationships, most men will stay but get more closed off (like Shelly’s husband), or in more extreme cases, break up with a woman who inadvertently makes them feel awful about themselves.
Instead, a man feels connected to you when HE can support you, help you, be there for you. When HE can be YOUR hero; this builds Emotional Attraction over time and keeps it alive and hot even with the passing of the years.
So here’s a precious Diva Action Step, again from the Building Emotional Attraction curriculum:
No More Helping / Fixing Men!
—-> For those of you single and in early dating, I would formulate this as:
No more helping or fixing men, in any way or form!
—-> For those in committed relationships, it will happen sometimes that a situation is so important that both your man and your relationship would benefit from it.
In such cases, the Diva Action Step for you is:
No more giving unsolicited help or fixing to your man! Ensure if you do offer a solution or suggestion, you take his permission first.
Taking permission shows respect.
Here’s a quick script for that:
“Honey, I have a suggestion for you on this. Would you like to hear it?”
If he says yes, share it briefly and be prepared for him NOT to take your advice anyway. If he says no, simply don’t share it and allow him to solve his own problems!
Whatever he does, remember that a healthy masculine man does not need fixing or helping.
Counter-intuitive, I know – yet so powerful when you understand it and just apply it!
This one Enchantress Commandment is just the tip of the iceberg for all the life-changing content I have prepared for the Building Emotional Attraction video program! It is filled to the brim with powerful tools, visualizations, methods and scripts that you can actively use to develop and maintain Emotional Attraction with high-value masculine men! Check it out here.