In my work as an international love coach, I find that many women, even the high-achieving ones that make up the core of my clientele, lack a basic frame of reference for what is healthy and acceptable from men, and what is unhealthy, toxic or even dangerous. So today, we are talking about the five behaviors you should not tolerate in dating.
Behavior #1 To Not Tolerate In Dating: The Hot & Cold Treatment
This is when a man makes you feel like a queen when you are on a date with him, but when the date is over, he disappears and you hear nothing from him.
A lot of the time, women get caught up in the chemistry that they feel on the date with such a man. What they neglect is how he makes them feel when he is NOT around.
When you go weeks without hearing from a man, how does it really feel?
He makes you feel insecure and like you’re walking on eggshells.
Yet, we women keep chasing that high that we feel with such a man on a rare date, instead of seeing the lack of consistency and effort that he is really showing us.
This is the most common behavior to not tolerate in dating.
Diva Tip: You deserve to feel good around a man – not just when you’re on a date with him, but also when you are not!
This means that a man who is truly into you is going to keep in touch, call and text you and take consistent action to see you more and more often. He’s not just going to vanish from the face of the Earth.
Don’t tolerate hot and cold behavior.
You deserve much more, and it is available to you.
There are many amazing men out there who know how to make you feel special, not just on a date, but also in-between.
Behavior #2 To Never Tolerate: A Man Who Doesn’t Value Emotional Connection
Yes, every once in a while, you’re going to come across that horny hottie who just wants to get in your pants – and yes, he may be cracking really good looking…
However, if you’re looking to build a real relationship, then you need to value emotional connection, and you need to only entertain a man who values emotional connection as well.
In other words, if a man doesn’t give a crap about getting to know you, understanding more about you, being curious about what makes you laugh and what makes you cry and what your biggest fears are and what your biggest dreams are… then he’s not the man you can possibly build a real committed relationship with.
Ignore these men, and say goodbye if you have a man who just value sexual connection and does not value any emotional connection.
And if you need to learn how to foster this kind of heart-to-heart connection yourself, check out my advanced video program on the topic, here.
Behavior #3 To Not Tolerate In Dating: A Controlling Man
A man who tries to control your personal choices is a definite no.
Yes, we’re living in the 21st century and a man doesn’t get to tell you what you should wear, who you should meet, what is the best job for you, or if you’re ‘allowed’ to work after marriage or not.
A man should have no say on these highly personal choices.
Of course, in a marriage or committed relationship, I do advise women to consult their partners on important life decisions. But that is part of a couple working as a team, and in no way should it be interpreted as the woman becoming subservient to a man’s wishes!
But if early on you’re already seeing this behavior that you should not tolerate in dating, you’re better off without that man.
See this as the huge red flag that it is, and get rid of Mr. Hyper-Controlling before getting entangled with him further.
Behavior #4 To Never Accept From A Man: Constant Criticism Around Who You Are
If we have had a childhood where we were often criticized by our parents or our primary caregivers and we always had to prove our worth to them, we are likely to attract a romantic partner who acts similarly.
This is the man who is critical about almost everything you do.
Instead of making you feel loved, he is going to constantly criticize you, tell you how you should do everything better, how you should be more social, how you’re too introverted or how you’re too extroverted.
It could go as far as a man criticizing you on how you should brush your hair, how you should ramp up your choice in stockings or even clean your teeth better…
Very often, women don’t realize how toxic this is, and end up feeling ‘not good enough.’
I’m here to tell you, this kind of constant criticism is not normal, and it’s something to absolutely not tolerate in dating.
You don’t have to go through this.
You don’t have to accept constant criticism from a man – especially from a man you are just dating!
You deserve to feel good in love. Not bad, not bullied, not constantly told what is missing or not good enough about you.
Behavior #5 To Not Tolerate In Dating: Challenging Your Boundaries
You say ‘no’ to the second glass of wine, and he pushes you into having it.
If you keep saying ‘no,’ he shames you for it and tells you you’re ‘not fun enough.’
Or maybe you say, “No, I don’t want to travel that far to see you,” and he guilt-trips you into driving two hours to meet him because, otherwise, you’re ‘not caring enough’ or ‘not a good person.’
Or maybe you tell him, “It’s too soon for sex,” and you’d like to take it slow, and he keeps asking and pushing and tells you you’re ‘a prude’ and how this is the most normal way to date.
Watch the signs.
You don’t deserve to be treated this way. Show the door to any man who challenges you in this way repeatedly.
Your boundaries need to be respected. A man who’s truly into you will be able to handle your boundaries, as well as have healthy boundaries of his own.
In fact, your boundaries is what makes a high-value man feel more attracted to you. If you don’t know how to create, hold and express your boundaries, here’s a free, one-hour-long video training for you.
The Way Forward
This is a very basic list of the worst behaviors to not tolerate in dating, and just following it will save you from so much heartbreak from men.
For a complete, in-depth resource on high-value, feminine dating (including advanced tools and techniques to identify red flags, choose the right man for you, and heal any part of yourself that doesn’t feel deserving of Queen treatment), check out my life-changing Leap Into Love course here.
I’m so excited to help you attract your dream love in a healthy, empowered, high-value way!
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.