One of the most common questions my clients come to me with is this – Sami, how can I reignite the spark in my romantic relationship?
How can I unlock the same level of passion, intimacy and excitement that used to exist in our relationship when we first met?
If you feel like the fire in your relationship has dwindled or you long for the days when passion and intimacy were a natural part of your connection, you’re not alone.
The vast majority of long-term couples experience a decline in excitement and desire as their relationship matures.
My husband Chris and I too openly talk about this without shame, because I believe it is healthy to address these things vs. feel ashamed about them or start to believe that something is ‘wrong with you’ if you are experiencing this.
It is not. In fact, this is completely normal.
In this blog, I will share with you the top ways to reignite the spark and bring back the intimacy and passion in your relationship.
But let’s first talk about why you need to pay attention to keeping the spark alive in your relationship in the first place.
The Importance of Reigniting the Spark
In long-term relationships, it’s natural for the initial infatuation you felt as a couple to evolve into a deeper, more comfortable, ‘friendship like’ bond.
However, this can sometimes lead to a sense of stagnation or boredom between you and your man when it comes to feeling the SPARK of chemistry and desire with each other.
This feeling of boredom or feeling like you know everything about him and he knows everything about you can lead to reduced interest in physical intimacy, lack of initiation from your partner, and in turn make you feel undesired.
But remember, it’s not a reflection of your worth or desirability. It’s an opportunity for growth and transformation within your relationship and elevate it to the next level, together.
Also, not to forget, when life happens with kids and work stress comes into the picture, that too suffocates passion and desire in the relationship.
For example, I remember how after a day of breastfeeding my kiddos and looking like a ragged doll, I too felt no desire to keep it hot in the bedroom with hubby.
Anyway, here’s how Chris and I keep the spark alive after a decade of being married and parenting two little kids.
There’s a lot more I would love to offer you on this topic inside my FREE webinar which you can join by clicking here.
But for now, these are just a few quick practical recommendations to reignite the spark in your relationship and unlock the intimacy and passion again.
Solution 1: Adding Some Mystery Back To Your Relationship
One powerful way to reignite the spark is by adding an element of mystery back into your relationship.
This includes returning to hobbies and fun activities for yourself, without your man and claiming back your life without him.
It feels counter-intuitive I know because you’d think that to foster more intimacy and desire, one needs to be close all the time.
But that’s not true. Desire and the spark is enhanced when you become that attractive, fun loving version of yourself in the relationship again.
So many times when women ask me – ‘How do I get back that excitement we had in the beginning of my relationship?’
And my answer is – Go back to being the version of yourself, that you used to be back then!
Have more fun, commit to more hobbies, bring back the life in your life. This naturally adds the mystery element to your dynamic.
For me personally, my work makes me travel all over the world without my husband and when I come back, he’s usually VERY excited to see me 😉
This is a great way for me to create some natural distance, get busy with my own passion in serving my clients on my luxury retreats or VIP one-on-one intensives in glamorous locations of the world.
Solution 2 – Add Some Variety, Both In The Bedroom And Outside Of It
Doing the same routine anywhere (both in the bedroom and outside of it) leads to boredom and flatness in the relationship.
Routine can be the enemy of passion.
I invite you to shake things up by introducing more variety into your relationship.
When it comes to your daily life, see if you can start to explore new activities together, such as dancing, cooking classes, or outdoor adventures.
Step out of your comfort zone and try new things as a couple. Even small changes, like rearranging your living space or surprising your partner with a different hairstyle, can inject freshness and enthusiasm into your dynamic.
For example, recently Chris and I tried a new ESCAPE ROOM reality game together where we had to work as a team and crack a murder mystery in real time together.
It was so much fun and such a great bonding experience, even though it wasn’t your stereotypical romantic experience.
I love our fancy dinner outs (like the one below by the Rhine river) but my heart was craving for something more fun and adventurous this time and it was totally worth it.
My client Emily from Elevate followed my advice too and decided to break their routine as a couple by signing up for salsa dancing lessons.
They had always been intrigued by the dance but never took the plunge.
The new activity reinvigorated their connection and allowed them to explore each other and their bodies in a fresh and playful way.
Plus, there’s also value in shifting things up in the bedroom.
You can try new ways of connecting with each other vs. always doing the same old thing, if you know what I mean 😉 I think you do.
Variety keeps things interesting and reminds you both of the vibrant individuals you are.
If you want to increase the physical intimacy in your relationship, this is the most incredible, instantly downloadable digital program I recommend for you.
Solution 3: Enhancing Your Feminine Energy and Cultivating More Polarity
Sometimes, a loss of desire and connection can stem from a lack of polarity within the relationship.
Polarity is the presence of polar opposite energies (masculine energy and feminine energy) in a relationship. When a woman carries the feminine and a man carries the masculine, you will get a lot of what you are looking for – SPARKS AND HOTNESS!!!!
I know for me that I always find my connection with my husband when I am embracing my feminine energy.
But truth be told, between motherhood and running a successful love coaching company, somedays masculine energy can take over.
It is just a FACT and if you are a smart, ambitious woman, like most of my clients are, I am sure you have experienced the way.
In such scenarios, taking the time to come back to my feminine energy makes a world of difference. I have amazing resources that go into detail on this topic by the way so make sure to check them out over here (how to be in your feminine in your relationship).
To reignite the spark, it’s essential to embrace and enhance your feminine energy and I invite you to dive deeper into the topic with me on my FREE WEBINAR –
In this webinar, I will be teaching you the secrets to reviving the spark and creating a deeper connection with your partner and show you exactly where you can get started to achieve this goal.
In this webinar, you will learn:
The two conflicting emotional needs in long-term relationships and how to BALANCE THEM effectively to reignite the spark.
The one big mistake that 95% women make in long-term relationships that KILL his spark and desire for you overtime.
One quick practical way to revive your WILD WOMAN more and drive him crazy with desire for you.