Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!
The Christmas season is meant to be a beautiful time. It’s meant to be a time where we come together with our dear ones in the spirit of love, togetherness and compassion. We laugh, drink good wine, eat good food, decorate our Christmas tree and unwrap our presents with palpable excitement underneath it.
But what if it’s not so? What if our day is not feeling perfect?
What if we don’t have family around us? What if we have family that we don’t relate with or feel good in the presence of? What if our family doesn’t talk to us?
What if we’re sick (like I am down with a flu this morning!) or the kids are crying? What if your heart feels broken this Christmas from a man you loved?
What if the sadness of being “single still” overtakes you when you see couples walk into the church hand in hand?
What if the loneliness of your marriage comes back to bite you with a renewed intensity as everyone around you feels happy?
In other words, what if this Christmas day, you are not feeling perfect or amazing like most people would expect you to feel?
I just want to tell you that it’s one hundred percent OKAY if everything is not feeling great this Christmas. It’s one hundred percent OKAY if you’re not feeling like a million bucks.
It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or your life.
It doesn’t mean that you are doomed for unhappiness.
It doesn’t mean that life will always look this way and feel this sad.
I want you to realize that, as lovely Christmas is, it also brings with it a lot of unrealistic pressure to be completely happy and put together on this one day of the year.
And that’s a hard expectation to meet and put upon ourselves.
Then when we fail at feeling “great” (we’re just humans after all!), the nasty voices return and make us feel terrible about ourselves:
“You can never be happy.”
“You can never get it right.”
“You will always feel alone.”
“How miserable and alone you are while the world celebrates.”
Just a load of bullshit (sorry for the language) that we women are so prone to telling ourselves!
The truth, my dears, is that your real well-being can never be determined by how one day of the year looks.
Your life is an aggregate of all your days and how you feel on any ordinary day counts much more to speak of your quality of life than this one Christmas day.
So if your Christmas, for whatever reason, is not looking like you’d like it to look, I want you to be kind to yourself and accept things for what they are, instead of fighting them.
I want you to love what IS, instead of torturing and hurting yourself to reach an emotional ideal that doesn’t even exist.
I want you to ask yourself:
What if Christmas is not about aiming for perfection in happiness, but aiming for surrender to what life brings us?
What if Christmas is about finding peace within us, in spite of the external chaos caused by family / or someone else that is often beyond our control?
What if Christmas is all about slowing down and reflecting on what we’d like to do differently next year?
Who we would like to forgive?
Who we would like to leave behind?
Who we would like to bring into our lives?
And lastly – what if Christmas is about focusing and celebrating whatever little we can find to feel grateful for instead of focusing on what’s not there?
Gratitude is a divine quality and no matter how much we are in the pits, when we can find something to feel grateful for, our spirit gets lifted. You see, it’s not possible to be grateful and miserable at the same time.
So ask yourself: In spite of how things look, what can I be thankful for? Why can I be proud of myself today? How has the Universe still blessed me more than million of others out there?
Truly connect with that feeling. Wrap yourself up in its warmth.
I send you love. Remember that you’re amazing and deserve every ounce of happiness, no matter how this one day is looking for you. Don’t let the feelings on this one day define your opinion of yourself.
Merry Christmas, and make the most of what IS!
P.S. – My diva affirmations audio are a sure shot spirit uplifter used by 100s of women to feel better about themselves and their lives quickly. Here’s where you can find them if you’d like to give yourself this little present on Christmas: http://
P.P.S. – For more inspiration and support, join my amazing tribe of women on my free, confidential relationship support group on Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/wunderdivas