Hi Divas, Sami here! I repeatedly tell my clients that the first 3 months of dating a man are critical.
Relationship Fundamentals Are Decided
Critical, because this is the time period during which rapid attraction building is taking place and where the man is essentially making up his mind about you and if he wants a future with you.
Believe it or not but in the first 12 weeks of knowing a man, the fundamentals of the relationship are decided.
What you do during this phase of dating is what will go on to decide how the relationship will evolve. It will decide the future of the relationship and whether or not it will progress forward.
It’s a bit like the first trimester of pregnancy – the most crucial time in the formation of a baby in the mother’s womb. It is during the first 12 weeks that all the major organs like the heart, liver and kidneys develop and where the risk of miscarriage or something going wrong with the pregnancy is the highest. After these 12 weeks, doctors generally claim that pregnancies get stable with little risk to the fetus in the womb.
Relationships are like this too.
What a man fundamentally thinks of you, how he fundamentally experiences you and how weak or intense his attraction is for you is decided during this phase of dating.
“Believe it or not but in the first 12 weeks of knowing a man, the fundamentals of the relationship are decided.”
Learn to Lean Back
If you have been leaning back and letting him initiate the contact in your relationship, you have sub-consciously laid the rules of the relationship for him. Without having long conversations about it. If he agrees to that kind of relationship dynamic with you and enjoys it, he will willingly carry on.
This will not be the case if you keep giving confused signals. Don’t lean back, but then get afraid and initiate contact. That’s exactly how he will process the relationship. He will be confused and his attraction to you will weaken.
Don’t say something and then do something else. He will know that you’re not someone who sticks to her words. He won’t be able to take you seriously!
In other words, his attraction will be greater if you give him CLEAR signals. Especially during the first stage of dating. This is why the first 3 months of dating a man are critical.
“If you lean back, but then you get afraid and initiate contact, then that’s exactly how he will process the relationship. He will be confused and his attraction to you will weaken.”
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Practice Being in Your Feminine Energy
This means that the first 3 months are THE time for you to practice being in your Feminine Energy.
- Speaking honestly
- Open heartedness
- Keeping your standards high. Not bending them for any man who comes your way (“I like him, so I change my rules for him”)
- Leaning back and letting him row the boat.
This is also the time when the hormones are the highest and the temptation to jump into bed the greatest! While many women claim they can keep emotions and physical intimacy separate, I like to believe it is only a claim given that science has proven that women’s bodies secrete hormones that explicitly and emotionally attach her to the man she has slept with.
I talk about this in greater detail in my video series, Date Like A Diva. What I can say here is that the longer you wait to sleep with him while dating, the more chances and space you give for the emotional intimacy to build in the man. It is critical to build emotional attraction with a man if you wish to continue in a healthy relationship.
The bottom line of this message is that timing is important! Doing it right in the beginning of your dating does count!
Be your soft, feminine self with a man. And yet, be firm in the way you approach your relationship. If you do this, you will “get it”!
Do it right at the start if you want it to continue on the right track in the future.
Let me know if you have any specific questions, in the comments below and I will be happy to answer them for you.