Fear of settling can really sabotage your love life and keep you single for YEARS. If you’ve been struggling to find a good man and don’t know if you have fear of settling, I’ve written an article to help you recognize the 5 Symptoms Of Fear Of Settling.

Most women don’t even know they’re operating from that energy and, the longer you stay in it, the harder it will be to release it.

But if you do know that you struggle with fear of settling…

Today I’m sharing 3 ways to release that fear so that you can actually enjoy the wonderful man in your life instead of constantly thinking:

‘I could do better than him, should I dump him and try to find a better man?’

So here are 3 ways to release that fear:

3 Ways To Release Your Fear Of Settling

1. There Will Always Be ‘Better’

Here’s the truth: there is always going to be another better man when you start the comparison game.

You could have a really handsome man in your life right now…

A man that turns you on, that you enjoy spending time with, and that treats you like a queen.

When you first met him, everything felt so good! You felt so appreciated and cherished and loved, you had great chemistry over time and really enjoyed getting to know him.

Then around the 3-6 month mark, when you started spending more time with him, you started noticing his imperfections…

So you ask yourself…

‘Could I find a better man? Maybe I don’t have to put up with all this…’

So I want to remind you: there is always going to be a better man. Because the person that we’re with in romantic relationships is not a ‘finished product’ like a Mercedes Benz!

We are human beings, complex creatures, and everyone has various kinds of imperfections and values that we, over time, may feel clash with our own.

If you have a fear of settling, you will always think about leaving the relationship you’re in, hoping that there is another ‘more perfect’ man for you out there.

Well, I have bad news…

No matter WHO you are with, these kinds of imperfections are going to arise.

The question to ask yourself then is: ‘How important is this for me and does it have a solution?’

I once had a client inside Elevate who was really irritated with her partner’s snoring.

Thankfully, snoring is something that can be fixed! So instead of staying angry and irritated at her partner, she could talk to him about it to avoid having recurrent thoughts of ‘I could have it better with another guy’.

No matter who you’re with, you’re going to deal with imperfections and value clashes.

Now, if a man is mean or horrible to you, that is NOT something you wanna tolerate. That is NOT something you can work upon.

But if someone has an exercise addiction or disrupts your sleep and that irritates you, you can just communicate your need to find a solution, instead of staying on the cycle of searching for the ‘perfect man’. Which brings me to…

2. The Perfect Man Doesn’t Exist

The truth is that there is no ‘perfect man’…

There is only the perfect one for YOU. And that doesn’t mean that even he will fit your life and your values at EVERY level, but that you can handle the imperfections that he does have because you value other things more.

Let me give you an example:

One of the really irritating habits that my husband has is that whenever he opens a drawer, he just leaves it open.

As you may have noticed, I’m short…

So I end up hitting all these corners and doors all day.

When we first started living together during our first engagement period, I got so annoyed by this habit!

So I asked him to please remember to close the drawers. Even though he’d say yes, he’d forget and keep doing it soon after.

He wasn’t malicious about it or ill-intentioned, he would just FORGET. Not notice it.

So I got upset and thought: ‘Maybe with another man, I don’t have to go around getting my head banged with every wall and shelf!’

But before I started really going down that path, I asked myself a question:

Was that really SO important to me that I would just give up on all this amazing love and romance and chemistry and support and companionship, just because he was leaving the drawers open?

The answer was NO. The truth is that I can accept this kind of ‘imperfection’ because everything else far outweighs it!

So basically, I just started closing the drawers myself, stopped getting triggered around it, and it became a non-issue.

If you find yourself getting irritated like this with your man’s attitude, I invite you to ask yourself if what he’s doing is really life-changing.

Because if it is, then you need to have a conversation.

But if it’s not, then you want to value the bigger things in him.

And remember: it’s not about being the ‘perfect man’ – it’s about being the perfect man for YOU.

Now, my last tip is really life-changing. It helped me completely release the fear of settling and made me find peace of mind when I was dating, then married…

3. Be Happy With Good Enough

Something I notice often with my career-driven and high-achieving clients is that they’re always about optimization.

Is something good? Yes. Can it be better? Absolutely.

That’s the way high achieving career women think!

This is a great attitude up to a point…

When you are in the dating phase and you’re choosing men, I highly recommend that. In fact, inside Elevate, we actually tell women to uplevel their standards.

We want you to get clear on your deal breakers and non-negotiables so that only the right men are filtering in your dating process and you’re not wasting your time with the wrong kind of guy.

This kind of optimization at the front end of the dating funnel when you’re rotational dating and talking to a lot of people is awesome and highly recommended.

BUT –

Optimization after you get to know men and then constantly wanting them to be better is not a nice place for you to be.

When you have met a good man who’s good enough at many levels and gives you a great connection, great relationship, your desire for optimization will only make you feel dissatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled…

Because your mind is always looking for things to optimize.

So you meet all these men that are masculine, kind, loving, devoted, loyal, and handsome, but they never feel good enough because your standards for optimization are never satisfied.

And it has nothing to do with the person you’re with because it is YOUR mindset. You have a fear of settling so no matter what is given to you, you always think it could be better!

That’s why the work we do inside Elevate is so powerful. We help you define what is really important to you and what your preferences are in a relationship.

Think of it this way:

You have this beautiful home with beautiful rooms.

Having a garden is a non-negotiable for you, because you need to spend time in nature every day…

Not having parking space is a dealbreaker for you because you have a car…

And inside the house you have preferences! A bigger bathtub, a type of lighting, a balcony…

But those are not MUST haves. It is still a great solid house without them.

The same applies to your relationship.

Women with fear of settling stay single for years, sometimes decades, because they expect to meet every single one of their preferences.

So I invite you to start thinking in terms of ‘Is this good enough?’

If yes: ‘I appreciate this, value this, and I am very happy being here.’

Release Your Fear Of Settling

Inside Elevate, my group coaching program where I help you meet and marry the man of your dreams in 12 months or less, we help you release your fear of settling.

I know how hard it feels to go up there in the world of online dating, organic dating, and try to do it all by yourself.

But with Elevate, I help you attract your dream person by walking you through my proven process step by step.

Right from helping you understand where to meet the right men, how to attract the right one for you and how to actually capture his interest so he’s chasing after you.

To then building an emotional connection with these men, guiding you about things like:

When to hold back
When to have sex
What a man is looking for in a woman like you
What you need to embody to attract men who are at your level
How to feel safe and secure in getting to know new men
How to go from dates to a proposal in 6 months to a year

If you’re ready to release your fear of settling and meet the man who is perfect for YOU, check out the inclusions inside Elevate.

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