In today’s blog, we’re talking about love bombing. What is love bombing and how does it look like in dating?
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Have you dated a man who has come on really strong at the start and then suddenly fizzled out on you? Or maybe you’re in a situation right now where things feel too good to be true, and you’re feeling a little out of balance and wondering what is going on?
If that’s you, you really want to learn what is love bombing.
Love bombing is, essentially, an emotional manipulation technique.
Deep down, men who love bomb are insecure and have low self-esteem. The way they get validation is by trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, or feel like you owe them something.
This is the psychology of love-bombers, and is the basis of understanding what is love bombing.
What Is Love Bombing? Recognizing Love Bombing
It can sometimes be hard to know what is love bombing and what is a man being authentically smitten by you. Below, I am giving you the three most important ways to recognize a love bombing situation.
#1: What Is Love Bombing? It’s Intensity
The first characteristic of love bombing is intensity. This means that the man is going to come on really, really strong in the beginning.
He will shower you with extravagant praise, exaggerated compliments and passionate declarations such as, “You’re the love of my life. I’ve never met anybody like you.”
Attention, affection and expensive gifts are also ways by which intensity manifests in love-bombing situations.
And while you might be enjoying this kind of treatment from a man, always be mindful of the level of intensity that a new suitor displays.
In my work, I encourage women to choose healthy Masculine Energy men that like them and want to court them. However, the difference is in the intensity with which a man comes on at the start.
If it feel like ‘too much,’ it probably is.
#2: What Is Love Bombing? It’s Moving Too Fast
Not only is love bombing feeling like ‘too much’ – it also feels like ‘too much, too soon.’
If a man wants to gift you a holiday, four months into dating you, that is great. But if a man wants to already whisk you away on an expensive vacation on date #3, that is a red flag.
This is not to make you feel like you can’t trust a good man’s intentions to make you happy. This is about understanding that healthy men like to take their TIME to get to know a woman.
For empowered men, it is only after they have gotten to know you, that they want to invest more and impress you with big gestures. That’s why I teach my clients to look for consistency over time as a sign that a healthy man likes them.
By contrast, love-bombers try to sweep you off your feet with grand romantic gestures very soon after meeting you. The whole point is to enter a relationship really fast. And then, the manipulation starts once he feels he has pinned you down.
#3: Something Feels Off
Last but not the least, to really understand what is love bombing, always notice how you FEEL in the presence of a man.
In my world, I’m really big on women listening to their gut. And most of the time, when women are dating love-bombers, they do feel out of balance.
For example, this is what one of my clients said: “Everything is so perfect. I’m just not able to catch my breath around all of this. I mean, he’s great, but it’s a bit overwhelming.” And she was right – the man she was seeing turned out to be a love-bomber.
If that’s happening to you, you are probably being love-bombed.
If you’re feeling a little unsure and like it’s ‘too good to be true,’ please pay attention to that feeling inside yourself!
My Story Of Being Love-Bombed
I don’t share this often, but in my 20s, when I was dating in Delhi, I was love-bombed as well.
My love-bomber was a seemingly wonderful man, from an affluent family. He told me he loved me, I was the most wonderful woman he had ever met, and we should introduce our parents and get married (i.e., intensity).
Not to mention, all this was happening literally within a week of starting to date (i.e., moving too fast).
Back then, I didn’t have much experience in romance. So even though something felt a little off, I just went with the flow and allowed him to sweep me off my feet.
It was only when I said ‘no’ to sleeping with him, that his mood suddenly changed, and I never heard from him again.
The reason I’m telling you the story is that we often think that love bombing cannot happen to us. But I want to assure you that even very smart women can get love-bombed, if they don’t know what is love bombing and how to avoid it.
Though painful, mine was a relatively harmless case of love bombing. But love bombers can turn out to be dangerous men who want to control you and, in some cases, scam you out of your money.
I hope the tips above will help you understand what is love bombing, and the basic elements of it.
In the next blog, I will be revealing the 10 concrete ways in which love bombers manipulate women, so you can easily recognize the red flags.
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