You feel like you’re the only one making effort in your relationship. You're constantly planning dates, initiating conversations, and adjusting to his schedule while he barely notices. If this is you, you are not alone.
Being taken for granted hurts, it doesn't feel good, and it happens to the best of women, but the truth is you can change this dynamic fast when you know how. As a dating and relationship coach who has been helping strong, smart, successful women find and keep amazing romantic love for the last 10 years, I've seen this pattern countless times and I've even experienced it myself in my single days.
The feeling of being taken for granted looks different for different women, even if you are in your best feminine energy, depending on whether you're dating or in a committed relationship. Read on to find out the signs and what you can do about it.
Signs He Is Taking You for Granted While Dating
In a dating dynamic, you might notice that the man you like isn't investing much time, energy, or attention in you and maybe he is even pulling away from you. Common signs include:
- He tends to blow hot and cold
- His communication is inconsistent
- If you didn't bring up meeting again, it might not happen
- If you didn't initiate the call or text, you might not hear from him for a long time
- Your emotional investment far exceeds his effort
You feel taken for granted because you're emotionally invested, you want this connection to work and grow. But the effort you're putting in emotionally, the time, headspace, and energy you're investing into this man isn't being returned in the same proportionate way.
Related: 7 Feminine Energy Shifts to Make Him Chase You and Commit
How to Know If He's Taking You for Granted in a Relationship
Within a committed relationship, being taken for granted can be magnified. Sometimes women date men without understanding the principles of masculine and feminine energy, go into their masculine energy, chase the guy, and get into a relationship with him while ignoring how he's not prioritizing them or looking after their needs.
When you create a relationship from a dynamic where you initially felt taken for granted, that feeling only gets further magnified inside the relationship equation.
It's also possible that the dating dynamic was great, he prioritized your needs and made all the effort. But once he got you, once you started sleeping together or living together, or once you relaxed on your appearance or how much you were doing in the relationship, the tables started to turn. Slowly but surely, his effort reduced, your effort increased, and you started to feel more taken for granted.
Related: When a Man Pulls Away: What High-Value Women Do
Common examples of feeling taken for granted in relationships:
- You're always adjusting to his schedule
- You're always making the sacrifice
- You're always planning the holidays, free time, and dates
- If you didn't do it, it wouldn't happen
- He doesn't prioritize you anymore
- Your effort goes barely noticed and it's just assumed to be there
When you're the one making all the effort for this relationship to survive and keep going, when you're making more effort than him, and all that effort is taken for granted, it feels awful.
Related: Why A Guy Gives Mixed Signals
Why Men Take Women for Granted (The Truth You Need to Hear)
If you're in this scenario, whether just dating a guy or already in a long-term committed partnership, here's the good news: you can change dynamics really fast if you know how, if you know how to do the hard thing, and if you're ready to be uncomfortable.
But first, you need to ask yourself, what is the part you are playing there. Nobody can take you for granted without your permission. There are certainly some behaviors you are showing in the relationship, in this equation, in this dynamic, which make a man feel like he can take you for granted. You can make a powerful decision right now to turn this around by taking deeper personal responsibility for how you're showing up.
The High Value Woman Mindset
Inside all of my digital coaching programs, I talk about the concept of being the high value woman. The high value woman isn't necessarily a snooty, arrogant diva. She's a woman who knows her worth. She is not perfect. It's not that she'll never have moments of mistakes or moments where men take her for granted. But a truly high value woman is self-aware. She can see the situation for what it is, take personal responsibility for her behaviors and how she's showing up, and then turn things around.
Don't get discouraged. Don't say, “Yes, I am the woman who is being taken for granted, making all the sacrifices, putting in more effort than he's putting in.” Instead, think of it this way: it's so good that you're reading this. It's going to give you self-awareness, and when you have self-awareness, you can turn things around. The change usually happens fast. It doesn't have to take years.
Read on for my top 3 tips.
Download my Feminine Energy Checklist, it will make it easy to always remember what's important and embody your feminine energy with ease.
Tip #1 Reduce What You're Giving to a Man
Overgiving to men out of love is always going to end up causing this dynamic where you get taken for granted.
Think of how humans think, not just men, but women as well. There are so many good things, high-value things that we take for granted. It's human nature to take for granted what is freely available, what is easily available, and what is not scarce.
Most men aren't taking you for granted on purpose. It's not like he's thinking, “Now I'm going to take her for granted.” Most men are doing it because it's human nature. Whatever is freely, readily available and accessible, we will not value it as much as we value something that is scarce or rare in our lives.
In a dating dynamic, ask yourself if you are over-texting, over-sharing and start to dial back on the giving.
As a high value woman, you should be able to use your empowered masculine energy in your career and work life, but when it comes to your love life, dating, and being in a partnership with your man, you want to use feminine energy and learn the art of receiving.
My relationship coaching for women programs are so powerful when it comes to issues like these. They give you all the scripts, all the strategies, methodologies, and mindsets that you need to adopt and display if you desire to attract a healthy masculine man and keep him in your life. You can find hundreds of success stories from my clients:
Inside my coaching program Elevate, we teach you how to handle various situations like this. You are not alone in going through this and ensure you get the best possible guidance. When we work with clients, we ensure the woman communicates in a high-value way.
How to Become a High Value Woman Again in a Relationship
In a relationship, it's hard when you're living with someone 24/7. But you can still make shifts. You need to stop doing things in the relationship and for your man that nobody asked you to do, but you just started doing them. Most women end up overgiving in relationships and feeling taken for granted because giving is how we love. Giving is how most women love.
What can you dial back on?
- Can I text a little less?
- Can I not call him when he's at work?
- Can I not check on him about when he's coming back home?
- Can I just let him come when he's coming?
- Can I surprise him by leaving his phone alone and not popping up with my name every day, all seven days of the week?
There are still things you can do, even inside a committed partnership, to make yourself more rare in the man's mind.
This is not playing games. Put yourself in the man's shoes or just be the woman for the moment. Ask yourself: if a man kept showing up on your phone 24/7, calling you, checking on you “When are you coming home? Are you okay? How's your day going? I'm thinking of you”, would you take this person seriously? Would you miss them? You wouldn't.
Put yourself in the man's shoes or in your own shoes and ask: Would I be attracted to such a person? If you wouldn't be, then why are you offering that behavior to your partner? It's really straightforward. It's not about playing games. It's about showing up as a healthy individual with a life of your own.
Related: How To Make A Man Worry About Losing You
Tip #2 Start Prioritizing Your Own Needs
When women feel taken for granted, they feel like the partner or the man they love is more important, and his needs are more important in the relationship than the woman's own needs. If you want to stop feeling taken for granted, you have to ask yourself, what your needs are in this relationship, what you need to be happy, to feel safe, feel fulfilled.
If you're feeling taken for granted, it's very likely that you're prioritizing the other person's needs over and above your own. One of the best and fastest ways to turn this dynamic around is to start prioritizing your needs and not necessarily above them, but certainly not below them. You can't love your man if you are not first loving yourself. You have t become the woman every man wants to chase.
At some deep level, this is about self-love. Self-love is not narcissism. Self-love is not arrogance. Self-love is: I have all this love to share with the world. Narcissists and arrogant people only care about themselves. But women like you and me who have a heart care for ourselves knowing that when we care for ourselves, we can care for others.
You can Download my Feminine Energy Checklist, it will make it easy to always remember what's important and embody your feminine energy with ease.
Tip #3 Establish Clear Boundaries (The Non-Negotiable)
My third and final tip is really important. It's something I talk about in all of my programs.
No healthy relationship is possible without boundaries.
When women love men, sometimes we can love too much. Sometimes we can forget that drawing a boundary, saying no, prioritizing ourselves, and letting our partner know that we are available for this but not beyond this time, we can forget that and become overgivers.
Point number one about giving a little less and point number three about boundaries are interconnected, because obviously somebody who is giving more has poor boundaries.
Don't judge yourself. You have to learn from this.
Related: Awaken Your Feminine Power
How Fast Can You Change Relationship Dynamics?
Use these tips as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve into a better, higher queen version of yourself. Don't use it to beat yourself up. Remember that you are wonderful, beautiful, good-hearted people.
These three strategies, reducing what you give, prioritizing your needs, and establishing boundaries work together to help you stop being taken for granted and start feeling valued in your relationship again.
The change can happen within two weeks when you implement these tips consistently and stay committed to honoring yourself.
Related: The 5 Feminine Energy Secrets That Keep Him Coming Back
Becoming a Feminine Queen TODAY
If you're ready to dive deeper into these concepts and completely transform how you show up in love, I'd love to support you. Through my best relationship and dating coaching methodology, I've helped countless women create the passionate, devoted partnerships they've always dreamed of.
The journey begins with my comprehensive Feminine Energy Checklist, a practical guide that will help you embody these principles daily and watch your relationship transform before your eyes. This feminine energy checklist contains 35 powerful reminders and practices that will help you show up as your most magnetic, irresistible self.
If you're looking for the best relationship coach for women or wondering which coach has the most results for attracting a loving relationship, I invite you to check out the thousands of success stories, marriages, and proposals emerging from my programs.
My strategies are practical and straightforward to implement versus having to meditate for 40 minutes or listen to long theoretical outdated lectures on feminine energy.
Download your Feminine Energy Checklist today and start experiencing the joy of being truly cherished and desired by your man.
Your Power to Change Everything
Nobody can take you for granted without your permission. You've been participating in creating this dynamic through certain behaviors. But the empowering truth is that you can also participate differently, starting today. You don't need to wait for him to change. You don't need to beg for his attention or convince him of your worth. When you change how you show up, the entire dynamic shifts.
This is about becoming the high-value woman who knows her worth not through arrogance, but through self-awareness and self-love. It's about showing up as a healthy individual with a life of your own, needs that matter, and boundaries that protect your well-being. Stop overgiving in relationships, learn how to make a man appreciate you again, and transform your relationship dynamics from feeling invisible to feeling cherished.
You deserve to feel valued. You deserve a man who prioritizes you, pursues you, and makes you feel special. And it all starts with how you value and prioritize yourself.
Are you ready to stop being taken for granted and start experiencing the love and appreciation you deserve? The power is in your hands. Use it wisely, use it lovingly, and watch everything change.
Want more personalized support?
If this is calling you, make sure to book a call with us and inquire about the Elevate program. As a relationship and dating coach specializing in online relationship coaching and women's relationship coaching, I've helped thousands of high-achieving women find and keep extraordinary relationships.
Click here to book a free call with one of my trained relationship and dating coaches for women and join wait-list for Elevate.
Here's to feeling powerful and strong in your love life.
About the Author:
Sami Wunder is a leading dating and relationship coach specializing in women's relationship coaching and helping high-achieving women create lasting love. Through her online relationship coaching programs and relationship coaching for singles, she has guided over 19,000 women to find and keep extraordinary relationships with emotionally available, masculine men.