What To Text To A Man You Like And Keep Him Hooked

Texting Secret #1: Send Playful and Fun Texts

First, let's talk about the purpose of texting.

The purpose of texting is to elicit a positive emotional response from the man on the other side. That's it, full stop.

I repeatedly teach my clients inside my online dating coaching programs for women that texting is NOT the place where a real relationship is building. A real relationship is only built face to face. However, texting today has become a really powerful medium to evoke positive emotional responses in the times you spend in between in-person dates.

This is why I always tell my clients: avoid sending any sobby, miserable, heavy texts. When the other person is not in front of you, it is so easy to misread texts. All the heavy stuff, whatever needs to be sorted between a man and a woman, should be done on a face-to-face date.

Use texting as a sacred opportunity to connect, have fun, and keep a man interested in you.

Feminine Texting Examples That Work

Here are two types of playful texts I suggest to my clients:

• Give him a funny nickname. I remember a client who called her guy ‘Mr. Sherlock Holmes' because of his love of hats. It became a sweet inside joke between them, something that elicited a positive response, made him smile, made her smile. Think of a nickname for the man you like and use it as a little insider secret in your texting.
• Get a little more formal, but playfully. Instead of just texting ‘Robert,' try ‘Mr. Robert Wills.' This is the art of flirting. It's also the art of confidence. Men love playful energy. And playful energy is such a huge part of feminine energy. If you can crack a joke, if you can bring a smile to a man's face, you are doing texting right.

Related: 7 Feminine Energy Secrets

Texting Secret #2: Send Short Texts

This is counterintuitive for most women  and it trips up even the smartest, most successful ones.

When you like a guy and want to keep him interested, your instinct tells you: put in more effort. Show him how interested you are. Send long, thoughtful texts.

Red alert. Wrong move.

Over-effort can be one of the reasons that is blocking you from creating the relationship of your dreams. I created a Love Blocks Quiz, based on my Six Pillar Love Framework, that helped over 19,000 women improve their love lives. Click here to take it, it will take just a few minutes.  

You do not want to be the woman sending long paragraphs to a man. Instead, you want to be the woman who does precise talking, short texting, not spending time crafting very long, very huge texts. That energy stinks of over-effort. And over-effort stinks of over-investment.

When a man feels like you are over-invested, his attraction starts to fall. And that's what we don't want.

The template I teach my clients: keep texts max 1–2 sentences long. You can train yourself to talk in short sentences. You don't have to be rude. You don't have to be cold. But you don't have to be over-giving and over-efforting on text either.

This is one of the core principles of the high value woman texting style and it's something I teach in both my group coaching program for dating and my private coaching for relationships.

Currently we offer a rare opportunity to have a complimentary 1-on-1 call with one of my senior dating coaches, click here to book it. 

Texting Secret #3: Keep the Mystery Alive

In early dating, mystery is priceless.

When you stay in that zone of intrigue around men, their imagination gets fired up. That's when they think about you. That's when they wonder who you are. What are you like in a private setting? What are you like when you're dealing with your family?

They don't have all this information, so their mind tries to extrapolate. And that's when you are hitting two birds with one stone: keeping your value alive and keeping him hooked.

The Texting Mistake That Kills Mystery

Here's a texting secret that not dating many experts are talking about: stop sending too many photographs of yourself and stop revealing too many details of everything you're doing.

This can feel counterintuitive. You might think: if I send him all the photos of me in my sexy, pretty dresses, that should turn him on. That should make him come for me.

In my years of experience as an online dating coach for women, having helped hundreds and hundreds find soulmate love, I've learned this truth: men value what they work for.

Related: How To Be A High-Value Woman in Man’s Eyes

If you give all the details on a platter,  even without him asking, he hasn't earned it. And when a man works to see you in that beautiful dress, when he makes an effort to go on a date with you, to court you, to please you, THAT's when he deserves a bite of the amazingness that you are.

Mystery is how you become the woman he can't stop thinking about.

Texting Secret #4: Have a Happy Life That Has Nothing to Do With Your Phone

This one sounds funny, but stay with me. This might be the most important texting secret of all.

To text like a high value woman, you have to actually BE a high value woman with a full, happy life.

I am such a huge fan of all you wonderful women having a life so rich and full that texting a man is something that happens naturally and organically, not something you obsess over.

A Diva has a busy life: social life, friends, yoga, travel, work, passions, career. She is not constantly texting with the guy she likes.

How I Did This When Dating My Husband

I remember when I was dating my husband, I would see what he had written on my phone, reply, and then just put the phone away. I would go read a book, go for a walk with my friends. When I would come back to my phone after three or four hours, I would see that he had messaged again. I would look at the message, dance and feel happy about it, and still take my time to respond.

At that time I already did the inner work and I was ready to attract healthy, committed love, and it was when I attracted my husband. To understand what’s blocking you in your love life, take my Love Blocks Quiz, and you’ll get a detailed analysis of your personal situation.  

Everything falls into place naturally when you actually have a busy life. If you don't have a busy life and you're stuck on your phone all day, it's very natural to get into that texting zone where you are responding to every message he sends, even if it's not worth responding to.

This is also why men pull away after texting too much when a woman is constantly available, always responding within seconds, he senses over-investment. The polarity drops. The attraction drops.

Related: Why Did He Lose Interest and Pulled Away?

Texting Secret #5: Less Is More

Texting should be used minimally, either because there is some positive emotional connection happening over text, or because you need to plan the logistics of the next date.

I am such a huge fan of you wonderful women getting to know men face to face. Because what happens so many times in today's world, we have forgotten that real relationships are built in person.

The Danger of Falling for a Man Virtually

So many women who find my work come with the pain of having fallen for men virtually. They texted a lot with a guy who said a lot of nice things over the phone. And then when it came to taking action they realise here was nothing there. While the relationship was only virtual, the heartbreak is very real.

Related: How to Attract High-Value Man on Dating Apps

Your best bet: keep the texting minimal. Focus on answering texts that make sense to answer, either because they're positive and inspire you, or because they're about ‘When are we seeing each other next?'

This is how you use texting to build emotional connection with a man without sounding needy, without overfunctioning, and without accidentally killing the polarity.

Why Men Pull Away After Texting Too Much (And What to Do Instead)

This is the question I get asked constantly in my relationship coaching for women and in my dating group coaching program Elevate. 

Here's the truth: when a woman texts too much, too often, too heavily, she steps into masculine energy. She starts pursuing and chasing. And when she chases, the dynamic flips.

She ends up in the chasing position and he ends up in the choosing position. And the whole polarity reverses.

Related: Why He Stopped Chasing

This is why feminine energy texting advice is so different from what you might instinctively want to do. Your instincts, shaped by fear of losing him, push you to over-communicate. But the high value woman texting style is rooted in self-possession, not anxiety.

When you're anxious, you over-text. When you're grounded, you text with ease. When you have a full, rich life, your phone becomes one small part of a beautiful story, not the center of your universe.

That's what I've dedicated my career to as a dating coach for women and relationship coach for women. My clients have gone from years of confusing text exchanges, mixed signals, and emotional exhaustion to attracting deeply committed, marriage-minded men.

My husband proposed to me within 9 months of us dating. I went from being confused and exhausted by modern dating to attracting a man who showed up with full emotional investment from the very beginning. And I believe with everything in me that you can have that too.

If you're a woman who's serious about attracting a loving, committed man without playing games, you are in the right place.

Ready to Go Deeper and Transform Your Love Life?

Inside Elevate, my six-month online relationship coaching program, we go deep on all of this. Not just what to text, but how to show up emotionally, how to regulate yourself when he goes quiet, and how to use communication to build genuine attraction. Over 1,300 women have attracted healthy, loving partners and marriage proposals inside Elevate. If you feel the pull, book a free consultation call with my team here. 

You deserve a love that is deep, real, and built to last. Let's build it together.