Hi Divas!
Today I want to share with you a Q & A from my Wunder Divas private relationship support group on Facebook. This kind of situation (where a woman let herself be dragged in a kind of imaginary or virtual relationship) is painfully common. Hopefully, you can all learn from this.
Cindy asks:
I’ve been talking to this guy online for 5 months. He’s in the US & I’m UK. We started off chatting about his new business, which I’m now partnering with him on, but there is clear (and very intense) chemistry between us. We have gone soooo deep with our conversations, chatting every night for hours at a time. He makes me feel alive.
He told me straight off that a relationship is not what he wants right now. He said he’d need to give 100% with me, and he can’t, because his business is his primary focus. At the time, I said the same, but the more we chat, the more I fantasize about being with him. He gives me signals that he feels the same way. But, because of the growing intensity of my feelings & this connection, I’m finding myself leading with a lot of the flirting now. He doesn’t do the same.
This connection is so precious to me. I’ve never felt like this without having met someone in person, and I don’t want to ruin it or overstep the mark.
My answer:
Oh, my darling Cindy! How I wish I had something nice to say about this situation, but I don’t. Instead, here are some quick pointers for you:
1) You’ve never met. This is not a real relationship, only a virtual one – which basically means nothing. It’s all in the head.
2) This is all chemistry-based, “chemical” love. Great if you’re just looking for fabulous sex (no judgement!) but not great AT ALL if you’re building silent hopes that the chemistry can lead to something more meaningful.
3) He has told you he isn’t looking for anything serious. So, he is basically not responsible for how you feel – because, for him, you’re still in it out of your own choice.
Cindy, please, please read my ebook. It will help you understand the posts on this group much better. It will also open your eyes to all the mistakes that you have been making in the past (and maybe even now), and that will save you a lot of heartbreak in the future. Here’s the ebook: www.samiwunder.com/ebook
This is tough to hear, I KNOW – but it’s all said with love.
Love, Sami
PS: Do you want to ask me a question like this? Join my tribe on amazing women on my free, confidential, safe and feminine community, here: www.facebook.com/groups/wunderdivas