Today I want to share with you an interview with my former Inner Circle client Lisette, who recently got engaged and is now living her best life with her fiancé. Watch and read, and learn how you, too, can learn to become the woman he commits to – forever!
1. Lisette, what did your love life look like when you first came to me?
I had not had a boyfriend in 4 years. I struggle to meet someone I liked, even just to go on dates with. I met men who wanted to be with me but whom I did not like, while the men I was interested in, felt compelled to move away from me.
2. What does it look like now?
I feel amazed at what is in my life now. I have a fiancé who is SURE he wants to marry me and is so happy. I get texts daily and dates 2 to 3 times a week. I receive many gifts and is happy. I have someone who is committing to me quickly, is generous and happy, someone who wants a family like I do, and is willing to provide for us. I too feel very happy, in love and grateful.
3. What do you think were your most major struggles with men and in relationships?
Before I started this work, I had many awful feelings regarding myself, men and relationships. I was a person who could not find anyone my age to date, because I felt men did not want to date me. Nor did I feel worthy or good enough to receive the things in a relationship that I was able to offer a man.
I also had a wrong belief that men did not want to put in the effort and work to sustain a relationship.
Even though I did not recognize it at the time, I had intimacy fears – I attracted the wrong men and tried hard to make it work with them. Overall, I had many limiting beliefs holding me back when it came to love and life.
4. I remember that, at first, the work felt hard for you. Why do you think it feels so hard at first?
It felt hard because I had to implement tools, lifestyle, and a new way of being that were foreign concept and unfamiliar to me. It was so foreign to me to learn that a man felt LESS attraction for a woman he connected to intellectually (instead of connecting on an emotional level). I just did not know that a man felt pulse in by a woman who leaned back, did nothing, and smile at him.
It also felt hard because I felt scared of hurting people’s feelings when I said “no”, or stood up for myself. I always wanted to be a “good woman” and do the helpful things in my relationship. I did not know I could be valued and appreciated more for putting my interests and my self-esteem first.
5. Does any part of it still feel hard? How do you manage it?
Yes. It feels challenging when I get upset or disappointed, because I must take ownership of what I am feeling and still communicate this to my partner to look for a solution, even if I feel upset or shy about bringing up something. I manage it by noticing my feelings and realizing that I must take actions to communicate this effectively. I still seek one on one coaching from your asociate coach Soni, for how to communicate something that bothers me.
6. Coming back to your fiancé – how did he treat you? From the start?
He was kind to me. I could feel that the vibe was casual, however, he was still a gentleman. The first month we met, we only went out 3 times. I could feel that he liked me and was looking for information on how to impress me or take care of me.
7. Did you feel an instant chemistry or did he grow on you?
There was no instant chemistry for me at the start. The process of liking (and then later loving) one another came gradually and over time. He is still growing on me more and more!
8. Were you Rotational Dating?
Yes! I definitely did. I was dating two others at the time we met. Even after I let those 2 men go, I was still looking for others to date.
9. Were you leaning back and letting him initiate?
I did. Leaning back allowed me to feel if he wanted to be with me, and if he felt comfortable pursuing me and taking the lead role.
10. What do you think made him propose to you so fast?
Two things – the No Girlfriend Speech, and the rapid attraction that built. The Speech was something I took time to prepare to give, so I could do it authentically. I knew I did not want to be a girlfriend at all, I wanted to opportunity to date as long as the men were willing to date me and it felt good to me.
How did I do it? I told him that me looking for my life partner was like putting a precious house for sale. I told him I was not going to stop showing my house to buyers, even though I liked him very much and wanted him to have the house, unless he had an offer – i.e., a proposal. I told him it was a good deal for him if I only showed my house to him while he lingered – but not wise for me if I was looking to sell my house to the best offer, and fast. Also I said I was not willing to wait around for someone to know if they want to settle their life with me. He then said: “Okay, let’s give this another month to explore if we are still compatible, if we are, then I am yours.” A month later, he proposed to me.
11. Can you share the 2 biggest breakthroughs that you had through this work?
The two biggest breakthroughs were: firstly, getting beyond the negative things I was telling myself about relationships, and secondly, caring about myself. I came to care a lot more about what I cared about like my life, the kids I want, what is best for me and what I want.
12. What would be the single most important advice you would give a women who is struggling to attract her soulmate?
I would tell her to get invested with this work and to not get discouraged with setbacks. I did not get the tools all at once, but got good at a few things first, then got skills in more areas.
13. Was it worth the investment?
Absolutely! There was nothing my heart wanted more than to be in a relationship where everything was good. I was supremely honest with myself, and started believing that there was a way for me to attain that. I had casually heard about some of your tools before I meet you, but it was not until you invited me to one of your programs that I began to apply your tools so the investments were necessary for me to participate and get invested in in what I was doing which was having my partner find me. My life would never have improve for the better if it were not for me getting invested!
Thank you, Lisette!
Ladies, Lisette was a member of my Inner Circle program, and benefited from the support and the extra tools. You can read more about the current edition of this program HERE. If this calls to you, don’t hesitate to reach out – I can’t wait for the day when I’ll be interviewing YOU as my next success story!
Love, Sami Wunder