The struggle is real. Work life balance is no easy task for the modern, ambitious, high-achieving woman.
If you’ve ever felt like there isn’t enough time to go dating, spend 15 mins a day on a dating app, be there for your kids and still date with dignity…
If you’ve felt like there’s not enough time to be a badass executive in your company and still be a loving wife or partner to your man and spend quality time with him… I get it.
In fact, I know these struggles personally, all too well.
When I built my company, I was pregnant with my kiddo Aaron, and I still dread thinking of those days when I was breastfeeding and answering client emails at the same time.
It felt like a tightrope walk against time and sanity, especially with a husband, who, in spite of being extremely supportive, also had his own demanding, high-level, full time job.
If I am honest (and I want to be, because I know it helps my clients way more than me acting all perfect), there have been a few times where I have felt like throwing in the towel altogether and just telling myself that what I am trying to achieve is simply not possible.
I told myself that – It is not possible to be successful and be in high demand, and at the same time be well groomed, be a mom to a hyperactive 3 year old, a wife, a CEO, a loving daughter who makes time to speak to her parents regularly – and still lead a sane life where I have time to breathe, relax and enjoy my success and family time.
And of course, if you’ve been in my world a little by now, you know I am not going to allow you or me to believe in that limiting B.S. for more than a minute!!!
In today’s video blog, I am sharing with you my top 6 tips on work life balance.
These are the same tips that helped me go from racing against time to feeling like there’s time for all that is important for me. I am utterly grateful for the transformation they have brought to my life and so excited to share them with you all.
These are also the same tips that have helped my clients – that range in the likes of a UK-based model and influencer, a Hollywood celebrity, a New York attorney, and a CEO of a social media firm (one of Linkedin’s top 10 global voices in social media in 2018) – to go from constantly feeling stressed about making time for dating or their marriage, to actually being able to enjoy the time they spend with their men.
1. Define Your Priorities
I believe that most of us get caught up in the rat race of our careers and find little time to stop and ask ourselves: “What is truly a priority in my life? What do I really care about?”
Is it only work, or do you also appreciate having love, a family to come home to?
Is it only career success, or do you also care about seeing a smile on your man’s face when you spend time with him?
Most of the times, the answer is that we care about both, and yet, when we take an objective look at our lives, it is easy to see how much disproportionate amount of attention, time and priority goes to work.
This realization, that we equally care about our personal lives and happiness, can be priceless for those of us who are spending insane amounts of time at work, which in turn makes our private lives suffer.
For me, it was a game-changer in my dating life when I could admit to myself that I do not want to be at the top of the ladder and not have anyone to share my success and life with.
So take the time to stop, reflect and get your priorities straight. Then build your life and work around those things that are truly important to you!
2. Set Boundaries
If you’re like most modern women, you do want to have the best of both worlds – amazing love AND an amazing career.
If work life balance is important to you, then it is imperative that you draw the line between how much of your time your work life gets from you vis-à-vis your private life.
This is no joke.
I see an insane number of my clients working overtime and feeling so exhausted that their private life gets neglected.
They have no energy left to date or for their partners when they come home late at night, or from their endless after-work parties and meetings.
Whether you’re single and looking to attract love or in a partnership or married, it is essential that you create stronger boundaries of when you will leave work, how much paid overtime you’re willing to do, and when you will make few exceptions about working on a weekend!
My client, let’s call her Emma, from Frankfurt’s top consulting firm, was afraid of telling her colleagues that she will leave office daily at 6 pm and that any emails that come after that, will only be responded to the next day.
However, when she just decided to do it, she was amazed by how everyone accepted her new boundary.
This freed up an immense amount of time in her life daily to go to the gym, say yes to a date or spend time pursuing her hobbies that had also been neglected due to her high-pressure job. An amazing win!
3. Make Intentional Time For Your Love Life
If you’re single, I recommend blocking two evenings on your phone. You can use these two evenings to say yes to any date invitations or for socializing.
In our company, we tell our clients that what’s not blocked on the phone is not real.
Blocking time on your phone for your love life will make a world of difference in bringing more balance and attention to your private life. Plus, it will give you peace of mind that you’re addressing this aspect of your life as well.
If you’re married or in a relationship, you can use these two blocked evening on what I call “Magical Dates” with your partner. It is time chalked out for you and him and nobody else.
This is when you arrange baby support too if children are there, so that you can step out with your partner. This gets to be your unwind and fun time, where you put on that red lipstick and get to be the woman he first fell in love with!
Magical dates have been such a bonding and nurturing factor for Chris and me in our marriage. It helps us re-connect and move away from the high functionality that is required from us both as leaders and parents.
4. Go Device-Free In Your Private Life
As much as possible, of course.
My husband and I have a strict no phone in bedroom policy, and no checking work emails after 7 pm guideline.
This one has been the hardest to implement. It is so tempting to just pick up the phone and check our Facebook notifications and before we know, our man is sitting next to us for the past 10 minutes, but we’re busy scrolling through our newsfeed. I admit being guilty of this myself!
Also, set a realistic curfew time with the devices. At first, I went for an idealistic 4 pm device curfew time but quickly realized that this wasn’t realistic.
As an entrepreneur with hundreds of clients in different time zones of the world, especially America, 7 to 7.30 pm is the range of flexibility I still allow myself to address an important email – but anything beyond that must wait for the next day.
This is also applicable to your magical dates with your partner or when you’re out with a potential match. Give the person in front of you, the respect of your device-free, undivided attention! It is so sexy and helps you slow down, connect and have meaningful interactions.
5. Practice Self-Care
A huge part of our work life balance challenge is to show up as the healthiest, best version of ourselves to both the important aspects of our lives, work and personal relationships.
Plus, no romantic relationship can last unless we have a solid relationship with ourselves. At an intellectual level, most women know this, but this is something that must be practiced daily with intention, especially when we’re so busy and consumed by our work lives.
Hence, making time for self -care plays a huge role in achieving this balance. Self-care can range from waking up 20 minutes earlier in the morning to doing some journaling, meditation, yoga, and enjoying your hot water or coffee alone as you plan and prepare for your day while watching the sunrise.
It could also look like taking some breaks in the middle of a busy work day to open the window, deep breathe and connect with your body and looking after your hydration, nutrition and exercise schedule.
It can also look like being protective of your sleep schedule, no matter how tempting it is to stay up late and watch that Netflix series.
You caring for you and making time for you will contribute immensely to achieving a balanced lifestyle. I always tell my clients, you’re no good to your boss or your man if you’re tired.
Take care of you first!
6. Practice Saying No More
If you want to be amongs the top 5% of the female population of high-achievers and have a fulfilling love life, you have to be willing to do what 95% of women out there won’t ever do.
You have to be willing to say NO, much more than you are used to. The truth is that, just having boundaries in place or wanting to work less won’t magically achieve work life balance for you.
Your boss, your colleagues, your own family or friends will sometimes challenge your boundaries and have expectations from you to sacrifice your time for yourself, or with your partner.
In such scenarios, it takes courage to stick by what works best for you, even if others do not like it. Stick to your guns and do not let others define and run your life. You get to call the shots!
To get started on learning about how you can attract the man of your dreams without playing small or dumbing down, download my bundle of intro resources for single ladies, here.
And when you’re thirsty for your next level support, book a call with our team here to learn how more about the various levels of support options we provide, that have helped over 140 of our clients go from single to their happily ever afters.